So, now what?
That's been the story of my life the past 4 or so months. I've realized that pretty well every dream or want I've had as a kid has come true. Well, the reasonable ones anyhow. Some I've found without even knowing I wanted them.
This book for example.
Others I've never dreamed possible until recently.
Some decisions have been the most important I'll ever make.
Some are ultimately.... meaningless.
So then, now what?
Here I am at an intersection of sorts in the crossroads of my life. I've spent the past few months wandering around this crossroad, kind of daydreaming and trying to figure out where the heck I go from here.
It's like... Well, let's use a story as an example. I have a pretty good idea of where I'd like to be at the end of... well, what I know about life, the universe and everything.
We'll call that the north pole.
I just crossed the border of Mexico into the states and have my travel visa. It's been a long road since I left panama. I've seen tons of things on the way and feel as though I've just barely caught a glimpse of what's out there. There are cultures that are as alien to me as anything out of a sci-fi novel. There are people living like kings and slaves. There's a lot to see and I've barely scratched the surface.
Now I'm in a strange new world, sitting at a truck stop with no money, wondering what I'm going to do. I've gotten a glimpse of a map, and so I have some idea of where things are, but really no way of knowing how to get there. Sure, I know the general direction north is, but that doesn't help a whole lot. There's plenty more stuff to worry about on the way than just the direction I'm headed. Where do I stay? How do I travel? Do I take anyone with me? If a family member or friend needs help do I delay my trip (or even go back to help them) or do I forge ahead? Yes, plenty more to worry about than a simple bearing.
Somehow my subconscious, as it usually does, has started me on the way of an answer, I just don't know what it is yet. However, I am moving, walking down a highway that I don't know the beginning or end of. But I'm moving again. Here's to hoping I'm headed in the right direction.
9 comments:
Just take me with you...that's my only request.
BTW... that's a great post.
I second what Bon said, that's a great post. And don't worry, I feel a bit lost myself.
Sticking with the analogy,
I'd say go where your going, if your not pressing ahead your losing time or moving back. Hopefully your family and friends will come with you. But some may choose to stay behind.
Lifes great journey is ultimatley yours to travel. We will all need a little help along the way to end up in our ideal place, but ultimately whether you make it is your decision. Hopefully you never have to travel alone, but sometimes, to reach your goal, you may be forced to walk your road alone.
While at your truckstop in the desert, someone close to you may choose to make a side trip to Vegas and stay for a while. Moving on doesn't mean that you lose contact. Maybe your postcard from further up the road will be the thing that helps that person start the journey anew.
As to being lost, that sucks. There isn't much worse in life than being in that limbo state where you decide how the next phase of your journey should proceed. It also is hard when all the options seem out of your spiritual and physical means. Thats when we need help. Thats when we need to contact someone that has gone before and get directions. That is when we need to ask for a few bucks to get us to the next stop. Hard times, I hope you get through them.
Hopefully I didn't sound like a complete dork. Hopefully you were looking for a reply like this, if not, ignore me, and I'll go back to drinking tropical beverages on this warm Panama beach. :)
I liked this post, too. Don't forget that it can be okay for you to delay your own trip for a while...just because you feel like it. Some of the best finds are off the beaten path anyway.
Thanks for the comments.
Blogarita - I've delayed quite a bit actually in some ways, in others I've taken the fast track. It just depends on what areas we're talking about.
Sushi - Actually, I've picked a direction and headed that way, but thanks for the advice. Somehow I think whatever it is that most o fus go through are "hard times" at the time, but looking back at some of my previous hard times I'd be able to hande some of them much better now. Maybe that's where the whole "experience" thing comes in.
Wait... WAIT! What direction? Huh?
WOW! I'm still waiting for some of my dreams to come true (HOUSE)!
You willl choose the right direction, or should I say, you probably already have.
Linds
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I tend to have pretty modest dreams, they have all (well, the realistically obtainable ones) been obtained by age 30.
Not sure if that's a good or bad thing. =)
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